Where do I begin? The history of the ideologies and mindsets of generations past, in fact for thousands of years, have drastically changed in only the last 200 years, and particularly the last 40-50 years, the way in which people view life and its origins are forever changed due to new found knowledge of the natural world. Yet, what effect does this have on the social upbringing of young minds today?!?
We like to believe we are free people, free minds, with the principle right to decide to do whatever we may so desire. However, in my, what many would say limited experience of life, have managed to experience one side of the world, one side of life that people know nothing about, the side of religion.
Brought up in a very strict household, where the way you think is affected by how we view God. You lose sense of who you are. After 18 years of such a life, of doing my best to try and believe something I saw faults in… after years and years and preaching such a delightful message to many many people, using my own resources, energy, time and downright stubborness to proclaim a message that I didn’t even completely believe, has left a sour taste in my mouth. So, so many years trying to be the ‘perfect’ child, the ‘perfect’ son, grandson, role-model… trying to not just accept incredibly unfair expectations, but meeting them with comparitive ease, and yet no recognition is given. All because of why?!?! Because I still have faults. We all still have the ability for badness. Yet, just because we have the ability to kill, does that then mean that we WILL kill?!
People say life is complicated, that it true to an extent. But we can all fit into a category of certain people, a generalization some may say, yet we all have characteristics that can be grouped, numbered and then collected in order to give us this supposed ‘norm’. Some people are brought up with the believe that we are down the chain from monkeys. Fair enough, that is how you were brought up, and I sincerely hope you have researched that and then made an informed decision based on that as for a viewpoint for the rest of your life, and not just accepted what you have been brought up on. Because that bond we have, when we not just accept but follow our parents, or maybe even entire family’s course of thinking, and way of life, draws you closer to them.
In my own, once again, limited experience in this aspect, as soon as we decide to break free of those psychological bonds, the mentality of our predecessors, how our world changes!! Of course, my early life was very much dedicated around a completely contrasting ideology to the rest of the world, and similarily, was my family. To not belong to either ends of our modern ‘concepts’ of life, creates quite the drag on one’s mind, especially a comtemplative mind. And to be shunned by your family, and the term family is used in very ‘rough’ context here. To be seen as an idiot, a fool, somebody who has fallen into a trap of this, our modern world, just because I, me, my own being does not completely agree with THEIR specific, hardened, and yet in many, many terms, blind perspective of OUR world, I must be seen as visually impaired myself?! After years and years of doing things I hated, all for the love in which i desired to show my parents, strived to be THEIR perfect son, always doing my best, and yet, they still weren’t happy enough with that. Highest in my year at school, every single year!!! “That is not beneficial, that is not what you should be using your time doing, it is more useful to be studying the bible… preaching”.
So I bite my tongue, for the unknown countless time, it’s starting to feel a bit numb after so many years, yet it is what I do to not become one of them. I know that sounds like a generalization, and as much as I strive to be diplomatic, it is yet impossible to reason with such dogmatic people in such a way. And to see the look of hurt in your parent’s, grandparent’s, brother’s and sister’s eyes, just because you CANNOT accept, agree or downright believe what they do, I find disgusting, and sorrowfully against the moral rights of life. They suggest I am a different person. Yet, they never once asked for my opinion on anything. Why? Because my opinion should be God’s opinion, and henceforth, THEIR opinion also. This moral grounding, is what makes not just me, but many people view such religious organizations with contempt. I understand the reasons why they do it, which although it justifies in a few ways, why they decide to act in such a way, it also highlights their naivity, and inability to accept anything apart from what they are willing enough to make sense. By drawing on extremist examples, and playing on people’s guilt, they destroy any resounding cries for individuality and the rights to individual opinion, thinking, reasoning and learning.
Somehow though, and I say this optimistically, they not just expect, but believe so profoundly that they deserve this yielding obedience to the enth degree. To not just the point where you no longer know who you are, but in fact, you look at the mirror and see all your parents want to see. And the sudden realisation that you have spent your entire life living an idea that your parents accepted, because THEIR parents accepted… and the guilt of not agreeing is unbearable to the point where you crash. It does not matter how strong you may think you are, or how humble and intelligent or mentally strong you may try to make yourself out to be, the feeling of complete distraughtness drowns you in its own misery and aching and tears.
So what effect does this one single ideology have on just one mind?! Or maybe it would be best to ask, what effect does just one hole in a boat have to the boat? Such an answer, needn’t need contemplating.